By Bamidele Ademola-Olateju
Etiquette is all about being polished, doing the right things and doing things right. The rules of face to face conversations applies to telephone conversations and messaging. Unfortunately, many are severely unwashed in their interpersonal interactions. One of the first few things I noticed when I got into politics is that people record telephone conversations. Many people put the default setting of every call on record. They review conversations at the end of every day, before they decide on what to keep, or what to delete.
On K1, the use of “ìwọ” as a singular personal pronoun in his conversation with President Bola Ahmed Tinubu does not bother me at all. Why? Many dialects among the Yoruba does not have “ẹ”, it is the”o” equivalent pronoun that they have. Native speakers of these dialects usually think primarily in their dialects and speak the general Yoruba. The same way we think in Yoruba and speak English. In my native Àkókó, and many dialects in Ondo state, the use of “o” and other Yoruba singular personal pronouns for older people is common. It is not considered disrespectful. What is galling and disrespectful is the recording of his private conversation with the president, putting him on speaker, and the publication of a private conversation online. What is that for? What is he set to achieve?
K1’s conversation with the president is private, why make it public? Privacy and boundaries are standard codes of civilized behavior. “Private” does not mean “secret” or “confidential”, it means “not public”. Conversations with friends, family and associates are private, even if the other party is at liberty to discuss it with someone else. What is not private is what you say in public spaces that can be heard by others who are not part of the conversation, like telephone conversation in a barber shop or radio. Recording people’s telephone conversations is a serious breach of privacy and a betrayal of trust and confidence. A recording can only be justified when: consent is given by each party to the private conversation to communicate or publish the recording; when communication or publication of the recording is in public interest, for example, if a terrorist confided in someone of a planned terror attack; when it is in the lawful interest of the person making the recording to communicate or publish the recording, for example issuing death threats; or when the communication or publication of the recording is made for legal or disciplinary proceedings.
Anything outside of these exemptions should be condemned. Personally, I’m relaxed when I call my family and friends. I say what I want to say. I don’t discuss other people as a rule. If I ever do, it is 100 % factual. If I call someone a thief behind his back, he’s most certainly an armed robber because, I get very charitable in my conversations. He won’t ever ask why I called him a thief because he is worse than a thief. Politically, I have taken the advisory posture of caution. I assume my conversations maybe recorded. Since I know there are only two ways to rise in politics; you either put in the hard work and time or you pull others down to gain upper hand, I have learned to keep my conversations mundane. Life is hard enough without me putting rocks in my pocket. Folks, what is private is private. Keep it so please.
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