By Bukola Kayode
The senator representing Kogi Central, Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan, on Sunday issued a satirical public apology to the Senate President Godswill Akpabio.
In the ;letter, Sen. Natasha reminded Akpabio that she came into the Red Chamber through elections and not ”erections”.
See letter bellow: ‘
SATIRICAL APOLOGY LETTER
From the Desk of Senator Natasha Akpoti Uduaghan
Dear Distinguished Senate President Godswill Akpabio,
It is with the deepest sarcasm and utmost theatrical regret that I tender this apology for the grievous crime of possessing dignity and self-respect in your most exalted presence. I have reflected extensively on my unforgivable failure to recognize that legislative success in certain quarters is apparently not earned through merit, but through the ancient art of compliance โ of the very personal kind.
How remiss of me not to understand that my refusal to indulge yourโฆ โrequestsโ was not merely a personal choice, but a constitutional violation of the unwritten laws of certain menโs entitlement. Truly, I must apologize for prioritizing competence over capitulation, vision over vanity, and the peopleโs mandate over private dinners behind closed doors.
I now realize the catastrophic consequences of my actions: legislation delayed, tempers flared, and the tragic bruising of egos so large they require their own postcodes. For this disruption to the natural order of โquid pro quo,โ I bow my head in fictional shame.
Please find it in your magnanimous heart โ somewhere buried deep beneath layers of entitlement โ to forgive this stubborn woman who mistakenly believed that her seat in the Senate was earned through elections, not erections.
I remain,
Yours in eternal resistance,
Senator Natasha H Akpoti Uduaghan
Unafraid, Unbought, and Unbroken
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